kicked out of the pta
Amy Ferguson
grew up just outside of Denver, Colorado believing she was destined to be discovered as either a beat poet or a really famous rock star. She was good at neither. At the age of 20, her dreams of fame and Gidget beach parties eventually took her west to Los Angeles, California in a beat-up 1985 Honda CRX with no air conditioning.

She settled into the Valley where she spent the next 21 years sweating, searching out homes of the rich and famous, getting married, and having two amazing sons. She also joined the PTA.

She’s not famous and she isn’t a beat poet or a rock star, but she did eventually get her Gidget beach party and once sat next to Prince at a cafe. Recently, an opportunity has brought her and her family back to the Denver area where they have been living happily for the past three years.

Though currently still a housewife, Amy is fairly certain the beat poetry circuit will soon be looking for middle-aged moms in differing black seperates while also keeping her voice sharp singing along to Lisa Lisa & Cult Jam songs. She sometimes blogs at fangirlsuperhero.com.

Humor

Kicked Out of the PTA!

written by Amy Ferguson

This humorous story is about all of the masks we wear to fit in with people whose masks look a little bit shinier than ours under the library lights at a PTA meeting in the affluent neighborhood of Encino, California. And it’s a story about how, deep down, we are all insecure middle-schoolers. This is a fictionalized version of true events.

© 2021 Amy Ferguson  | Recording © 2021 Rivercliff Books & Media. All rights reserved.

If it is possible to get kicked out of the PTA based on bad behavior, believe me when I tell you that my picture would be on the warning pamphlet under the heading: Don’t Let This Happen to You! 
I’m the embodiment of messy-haired embarrassment wrapped in leggings disguised as jeans, otherwise known as my “Fancy Pants.” And for the record, I plan on bringing everyone down with me.

 

About once a month, we professional adult types would meet up in the school library to discuss PTA business. I’m pretty sure that I put in the least amount of effort of anyone on the PTA board, but I did try to pretend that I put in a lot of effort, which in itself takes effort.
Los Angeles is surreal. I’m in this PTA meeting trying to pay attention to the school budget and next year’s fundraising goals, and trying not to eat my chips too loudly, while George Costanza’s mom is smiling at me from the wall behind the encyclopedias.
kicked out of the pta

Amy Ferguson

Amy grew up just outside of Denver, Colorado believing she was destined to be discovered as either a beat poet or a really famous rock star. She was good at neither. At the age of 20, her dreams of fame and Gidget beach parties eventually took her west to Los Angeles, California in a beat-up 1985 Honda CRX with no air conditioning.

She settled into the Valley where she spent the next 21 years sweating, searching out homes of the rich and famous, getting married, and having two amazing sons. She also joined the PTA.

She’s not famous and she isn’t a beat poet or a rock star, but she did eventually get her Gidget beach party and once sat next to Prince at a cafe. Recently, an opportunity has brought her and her family back to the Denver area where they have been living happily for the past three years.

Though currently still a housewife, Amy is fairly certain the beat poetry circuit will soon be looking for middle-aged moms in differing black seperates while also keeping her voice sharp singing along to Lisa Lisa & Cult Jam songs. She sometimes blogs at fangirlsuperhero.com.

Q&A with Amy

Tell us a little about your story...

This is a story about all of the masks we wear to fit in with people whose masks look a little bit shinier than ours under the library lights at a PTA meeting in the affluent neighborhood of Encino, California.

What was the inspiration for this story?
I was actually on a parent board (PTA) at a school in Encino for a few years where I made a lot of good friends. I began blogging about the things that I found funny about it. It wasn’t until I started talking to other people who had served on parent boards both in L.A. and here in Denver where I now live that I realized how, regardless of the demographic of each school, the hierarchies of middle school will always rear their ugly head in the same ways.
Our teenage insecurities are so ingrained in our psyches, that it doesn’t matter what accomplishments you’ve had, or how many masks you wear to conceal it, we are all insecure middle schoolers deep down. I have so much to say about that idea that this story is actually part of a bigger piece entitled Boybands, By-laws, and other Reasons I was Banned from the Library that I hope to have ready later this year.
What are you most looking forward to, post-pandemic?
Having a drink with friends.
Who/What makes you laugh?
My family is hilarious. 
What's the best thing that's happened to you in the last few months?
I’m going to have to go with getting my covid vaccine.
Tomorrow, I absolutely refuse to...
Take myself seriously.

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